6.4/10 — average length at best. the angle tries to sell it but the bush is doing most of the heavy lifting.

6.5/10 — not the smallest thing we've seen but nothing to write home about either. the bush is stealing half the real estate anyway.

5.1/10 — uneven color, weird vein map, glans looks stressed. symmetry is fighting for its life.

5.0/10 — veiny and functional but the skin tone looks like it lost a fight with bad lighting and poor decisions.

2.3/10 — that bush is a full ecosystem. looks like it could hide small animals and unpaid bills.

2.5/10 — jesus christ it's a national forest down there. you could hide small animals in that mess and no one would notice.

3.9/10 — blurry phone mess from a terrible angle. we've seen clearer pictures of bigfoot.

4.5/10 — blurry edges and weird crop like you took it while falling off a chair. phone cameras are free to use properly.

4.2/10 — dim bedroom shadows doing you zero favors. everything looks bruised and tired.

4.0/10 — flat indoor nothing light that makes everything look sad and undercooked. the sun exists, use it.

3.8/10 — zero confidence, maximum laziness. this photo feels like it gave up halfway through.

4.5/10 — awkward hand grip and zero confidence. looks like you snapped it out of boredom not intention.