6.9/10 — average length at best, the hand grip is doing most of the heavy lifting here.

7.1/10 — not micro but the angle is lying for you. seen bigger in changing rooms and they weren't even trying.

5.1/10 — veiny, red, and angry like it just lost an argument with a blender.

5.4/10 — shiny and veiny like it just finished a shift at the trauma ward. color looks angry at the world.

4.3/10 — that bush is thriving like it pays rent, zero effort visible at the base.

5.9/10 — the bush is giving 'i own one pair of clippers from 2017'. at least it's not a full jungle but close enough to be embarrassing.

5.7/10 — phone snap in a bathroom, at least the dick is the main focus and not the tiles.

4.2/10 — blurry, grainy, shot from the floor like you're hiding from your own dick. phone camera from 2014 energy.

3.8/10 — harsh red death glow making it look like evidence from a horror movie.

3.1/10 — darkness is doing you a favor and still failing. this looks like a crime scene lit by a dying phone flashlight.

4.6/10 — awkward grip like you're showing it to the police, zero confidence or intent.

4.8/10 — desperate 2am submission that screams 'someone please validate this'. the underwear and carpet combo is not helping your case.