post this duel
they need to see this.
what's next for you?
dimensions won
6 vs 0
ranks
top 38% · top 58%
the full breakdown.
6 dimensions. head to head.
every dimension compared. who won what.
8.7/10 — congrats on winning the genetic lottery, genuinely impressive size and girth. this is the one thing you didn't fuck up today. don't let it go to your head (either of them).
5.8/10 — it's there. it exists. slightly above average length, decent girth. not winning any awards but also not getting laughed out of the room. the bar was on the floor and you stepped over it. congrats i guess.
7.9/10 — solid shape, clean glans definition, good symmetry. the veining adds character without crossing into weird territory. this would actually be impressive if you knew how to photograph it.
5.1/10 — the shape is fine. nothing offensive, nothing inspiring. this is the dick equivalent of a beige honda civic. gets the job done, zero personality. the slight curve is unremarkable and the glans looks like it's already bored with this photoshoot.
6.8/10 — trimmed enough to not be a biohazard but the edgework is sloppy as hell. looks like you gave up halfway through and called it good enough. it wasn't.
3.2/10 — my guy there is an entire ecosystem happening down there. we can see the trimming attempt but it gave up halfway like your commitment to literally anything. patchy, uneven, looks like you used safety scissors in the dark. the balls got MORE attention than the base somehow which is a concerning priority system.
4.2/10 — this grainy midday window light situation is doing you zero favors. the slight motion blur on the shaft is embarrassing. your phone has portrait mode and you chose violence instead.
2.8/10 — this was shot on a motorola razr from 2004 that you found in a landfill. the blur is so aggressive we thought your camera was crying. you can afford internet but not the tap-to-focus button apparently. genuinely impressive how out of focus the main subject is.
5.1/10 — harsh natural window light creating uneven shadows across the shaft like a topographic map. one side is blown out, the other is in witness protection. the sun is free but apparently so is your understanding of angles.
3.1/10 — someone turned on exactly one (1) lamp in a cave and called it a day. the shadows are doing more work than your grooming routine. half your dick is in witness protection. the green fabric is getting better lighting than your actual anatomy which is a war crime.
7.8/10 — the confident presentation and oiled-up look actually work. red shorts pulled down just enough, natural stance. you understood the assignment here even if you failed the execution everywhere else.
4.3/10 — this has 'took the pic during a commercial break' energy. zero confidence, zero setup, maximum 'fuck it we ball' attitude. the green pants pulled down just enough screams 'my roommate could walk in any second.' not horny, not artistic, just desperate and rushed.
ajnorris1234567890 ran the table.
the autopsy.
both photos. one frame. ai picked sides — no diplomacy.
challenger is genuinely substantial — actual girth, length that casts shadows, mass that requires structural engineering. entry looks like it's rendering at 240p because there's simply less data to load.
challenger shot this in natural light with a phone that has functioning autofocus. entry's image looks like it was taken with a blackberry underwater while having a seizure.
challenger holds it like they're about to sell you premium real estate. entry holds it like they're submitting evidence to a very patient therapist who's heard worse but not by much.
what the AI thinks.
both sides.
the unfiltered AI verdicts.
ajnorris1234567890
outlawedbacon
room for improvement.
for both of you.
the AI's recommendations.
ajnorris1234567890's tips
invest in actual lighting setup
that window light is creating harsh uneven shadows and blown-out highlights. get a ring light or shoot during golden hour with diffused natural light. your proportions deserve better than this crime scene lighting situation.
+2.1 to lighting, +1.4 to photo qualityfinish the grooming job you coward
the trim is acceptable but the edges and cleanup are sloppy as hell. take an extra 3 minutes with the razor and define those lines properly. if you're gonna show off elite proportions don't half-ass the presentation.
+1.6 to groominguse your phone's actual camera features
portrait mode exists. burst mode exists. tripods cost $15. the slight motion blur and grain are amateur hour mistakes that tank your photo quality. you've got the goods, now learn to document them properly.
+1.9 to photo quality, +0.7 to overall vibeoutlawedbacon's tips
buy a phone made after obama's first term
the blur is unacceptable. use tap-to-focus. hold the phone steady with both hands like a normal person. if your camera is genuinely this bad, it's time to upgrade or borrow a friend's device. sharp focus on the subject is photography 101 and you're failing kindergarten.
+2.1 to photo qualityfinish what you started with the trimmer
commit to a grooming standard and execute it evenly. the patchwork situation is worse than just being natural. get proper clippers, use a guard, do it in actual lighting, and for the love of god make it symmetrical. the balls should not have better maintenance than the base.
+1.9 to groominglighting exists and it's free
move near a window. use multiple light sources. turn on the overhead AND a lamp. the one-dimly-lit-corner approach is killing any chance this photo had. even just pointing the camera toward a light source instead of away from it would be a start. you need illumination, not a séance.
+1.7 to lighting