6.2/10 — ok fine, it's above average size-wise. decent girth, reasonable length. congrats on the genetic dice roll. don't get cocky though because everything else about this submission is a disaster.

5.8/10 — slightly above average length, decent girth. not small, not impressive. the most aggressively mid dick we've seen today and that's saying something considering the competition.

5.8/10 — shape is unremarkable. nothing offensive but nothing memorable either. the half-hard state isn't doing you any favors. commit to the bit next time.

4.9/10 — the shape is whatever. the head looks like it's trying to escape the rest of the situation. nothing wrong with it but also nothing memorable. this is the dick equivalent of elevator music.

2.1/10 — my guy this looks like you're smuggling a forest in your pants. the bush situation is WILD. we can barely see what we're rating through the botanical garden. a trimmer costs $20.

2.1/10 — my brother in christ there is a literal forest down there. we've seen less hair on national park wildlife. one manscaping session away from discovering you actually have thighs.

3.4/10 — the blur, the angle, the unfocused chaos of it all. you took this with what, a 2014 android? a potato? your hands were shaking like you were on a roller coaster. embarrassing.

3.8/10 — you took a dick pic next to your ikea furniture and wire basket like you're staging a home depot catalog shoot. the focus is mediocre, the framing is sad, the whole vibe screams 'i have seven minutes before my roommate gets home.'

4.1/10 — generic bathroom overhead lighting creating all the romance of a dmv photo. harsh shadows everywhere. the lighting is saying 'this was not planned' and we believe it.

4.5/10 — natural light from a window we guess? it's doing the bare minimum. creates weird shadows that make everything look flat. your dick deserves better lighting than a dentist's waiting room.

3.2/10 — this screams 'rushed bathroom pic taken standing over the toilet.' zero confidence, zero composition, zero effort. you submitted your first take and it shows. the crumpled shirt in the background is somehow the most interesting part of this image.

4.1/10 — the hand pose is giving 'i'm holding a microphone at karaoke night.' the background wire basket is distracting. the whole composition radiates nervous energy and zero confidence. you look like you're apologizing.