6.4/10 — decent length, respectable girth. not breaking records but you're solidly above average. the angle makes it look slightly stumpy but we can see through your photographic crimes to the actual anatomy underneath.

6.2/10 — ok we'll give you this: it's a respectable size. above average length, decent girth. this is your only lifeline in this entire disaster of a submission.

5.2/10 — the shape is fine, nothing offensive, but also nothing we're writing home about. slightly curved, standard issue glans. it exists. that's the nicest thing we can say.

5.1/10 — the shape is fine but nothing's doing it any favors here. the hand grip makes it look like you're strangling it for ransom. let it breathe.

3.1/10 — the pubic area looks like it's been maintained with a weed whacker operated by someone having a seizure. patchy, uneven, zero commitment to the bit. either go full trim or embrace the chaos but this half-assed middle ground is embarrassing both of us.

3.8/10 — my guy the pubic hair situation is giving 'forgot razors exist for six months.' not a jungle but definitely overgrown suburbia. trim literally anything.

4.6/10 — standard phone camera at a weird angle that makes us feel like we're looking up at the empire state building if the empire state building was beige and depressing. sharp enough to see the disaster but not good enough to be intentional art.

3.2/10 — this photo is grainier than a wheat field and the angle is so awkward it looks like your phone was having an existential crisis. invest in a tripod or a steady hand.

3.2/10 — this lighting is doing you absolutely zero favors. harsh, flat, makes everything look washed out like a crime scene photo taken by someone who failed the police academy. the yellow shirt is reflecting onto your skin creating this jaundiced nightmare situation.

2.9/10 — overhead fluorescent lighting that makes everything look like a crime scene interrogation room. harsh shadows everywhere. the sun is free and you chose violence against your own dick.

6.1/10 — the confidence to pull your dick out in a yellow button-down is almost commendable. almost. the whole setup screams 'i have 47 seconds before someone walks in' which is honestly more relatable than artistic but we'll give you points for audacity.

4.1/10 — the vibe is 'took this in 47 seconds during a bathroom break and called it a day.' zero confidence. zero composition. the sweatpants bunched around your thighs aren't helping either.